The Sex Lives of Cannibals (by J. Maarten Troost) app for iPhone and iPad

THE SEX LIVES OF CANNIBALS by J. Maarten Troost (unabridged) is presented by Blackstone Audio and comes with what is perhaps the best audiobook app available (see FEATURES, below).

At age twenty-six, Maarten Troost packed up his flip-flops to move to a remote South Pacific island. He should have known better. This is the true story of a harrowing and hilarious stay in the “worst place on earth.”

NOTICE: This app includes the exact same 5-star recording offered elsewhere at much higher prices. It was professionally recorded by Blackstone Audio’s Audie® Award-winning narrator, Simon Vance. You are not buying yet another amateur or volunteer narration. No clicks, background noises, throat clearing, mispronunciations, tinny voices or monotones will be found here.

“Simon Vances top-notch narration...bring[s] to life a South Sea island packed with lunatic locals.”—AudioFile


•EXPERIENCE. About 8.5 hours of narration. Created as a Folium enhancedAudio™ edition, this book includes extra functions and features not found on lesser players.

•PLAYER CONTROLS. Includes listen (play), pause, multi-speed fast forward/reverse, jump ahead/back, chapter skip, volume control, one-touch chapter- and bookmark browser. There is also a “scrub” bar that finds any point inside the chapter with just a tap.

•SLEEP TIMER. Have you ever fallen asleep watching TV or listening to a book? If so, youll love this feature. Once set, the book will stop, place a bookmark, and allow you to jump back to where you probably began dozing.

•CLEAR & ELEGANT DESIGN. Simple, clean, intuitive, and smarter than average.

•CHAPTER TIMINGS. Always know how much time it will take to finish a chapter. Plus, the progress bar at the top of the screen shows how far into the book you’ve come.

•OFFLINE LISTENING. You are airplane-ready! Once downloaded, listen uninterrupted without threat from a lost network connection. Downloads are usually just 5-10 minutes, but depend upon your network speed.

•AUTO-BOOKMARKING. The player remembers where you stopped listening and returns to that exact spot when you open the book again.

•TELL-A-FRIEND. An easy way to recommend the book to your friends or Twitter feed.

•FEEDBACK. Share your ideas for books, functions, and features. We are very responsive to our listeners and appreciate all feedback and ideas.


RATING: Suitable for adults who enjoy comic tales from exotic places.

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At age twenty-six, Maarten Troost decided to pack up his flip-flops and move to a remote South Pacific island. The idea of dropping everything and moving to the ends of the earth was irresistibly romantic. He should have known better.

This is the hilarious story of what happens when he discovers that the island is not the paradise he dreamed of. Falling into one amusing misadventure after another, Troost struggles with stifling heat, deadly bacteria, polluted seas, and toxic fish, in a country where the only music to be heard is “La Macarena.” He and his stalwart girlfriend, Sylvia, contend with alarmingly large critters, a paucity of food options (including the Great Beer Crisis), and such bizarre local characters as “Half-Dead Fred” and the Poet Laureate of Tarawa, a British drunkard who’s never written a poem in his life.